Once more onto the breach

I got my cycling paperwork in the post last week!! First thing I thought when I opened it and saw 1991, my allocated number, is; great now I really am doing it. I think this every time I get on my bike. I reach a hill when I'm cycling to work and think, oh my god I have to do 60 miles!! What was I thinking?!

Anyway, I went to spain and threw all my training out of the window. I came back and I'd had quite an interesting time so I needed to relax to get over my holiday. (And not from the good kind). Monday was my first time back on the bike, literally.

I have been cycling to and from work now for 2 days, yesterday I got hailstoned on the way home, I quite enjoyed it in a twisted way, like the world was trying to tempt me to not carry on, but I won lol. Today is a day off, as I managed to take advantage of my opportunities and get a lift into work. Plus I did go to karate training yesterday so I am still doing my fair share of the exercise he he. I find it so much easier to bike it now my bike has been fixed. I just hope the small amount of mileage I am doing each day is helping me be fit enough for the big 60miles.

I had another friend on Saturday tell me that 60 miles would be easy for him. Now although I love him as my friend he is a pain in the back side. He drinks alcohol more than anyone I have ever met, eats bad food (yet tells me he doesn't eat unhealthily, all the while stuffing his face with a 16 inch spicy pizza), he thinks he can do anything physical to the extreme like biking until he collapses, climbing; he gets to go climbing and have it paid for him,:( (I love to climb and cant afford the indoor walls to train in :( ), and he classes all that as fitness, without any prior training or warm up. He also knows more about martial arts than me, despite me having done 3 different styles and I have taught and trained my way to black belt for the past 12 years! What is more annoying about this is; the fact that he probably can, as he is a little mental (a drummer) and is able to push himself to the point of collapse and be fine about it, despite not having a healthy lifestyle. He's a student, so it explains a lot, but as I have said it does get me down when they say they can do something, that seems like an insurmountable challenge to me and yet not be phased by it. He did initially start training with me and my friend as he was going to do the charity run. And despite saying it would be easy for him, he conveniently opted out of doing the bike ride as he is quite conveniently away at that time. It drives me mad though, is it just my competitive streak getting the best of me? Am I just being spiteful? I just dont think it's fair, I try really hard and he rubs it in my face that it's easy, says to me "I dont have a job yet you always seem to have less money than me". (I cant even explain I have bills and debts because of course so does he and they're obviously bigger and much worse than mine, how did I guess). He gets given a new bike, I have to pay to get my rubbish one fixed and he doesn't have to train and arrrggghhhhh, rant, scream shout... whimper.

You see even if I complete it, to people like him, it will never be proving a point as it was always easy for him. :( I know I have to complete it, to prove it to myself. Most of the time I feel the biggest obstacle I have to overcome is anger towards the short sightedness of other people, who demean everything I feel, I have and can or want to achieve.

I am a unconfident, paranoid, idiot really, with a desparate need to be the best, I really hope I can complete this bike ride.