Thoughts of Insignificance

At my martial arts class yesterday evening, I mentioned my cycling training to one of my mates at the class. He is quite into all the marathon cycling type exercise and can push himself quite far. Upon mentioning the charity ride and telling him that I was quite nervous about it, being unfit and all, he told me he was taking part too and that he thinks it will be easy. This has made me feel rather deflated. Personally I have never taken part in anything like this before and my concerns were merely dismissed as trivial. I am not by any stretch of the imagination the fastest cyclist in the world, not even close to it. I am quite short and have little legs (no sniggers please). When training my friends are always far ahead of me and I lag behind and slow them down. This also gets to me a little bit. (Yes I am quite affected by other people's abilities, although I shouldn't be because everyone is different and blah blah blah). This doesn't change my competitive nature and my desire to be the best at everything I do, especially physical exercise.

I am too stubborn to quit, but I now wish I knew someone, anyone who is finding it as hard as me to get healthy, get fit, keep motivated and stay excited about taking part in, what I consider to be a big challenge. I personally am not finding it easy, I am dreading 60 miles (I can only just do 25), and I am not entirely certain I will be able to complete it.

I think it's more about proving to myself I can do it... sigh... I am not entirely sure why other people's opinions and abilities matter so much to me but they do.

Now that's my rant over with, I don't feel much better. :(

On another note; my bike is currently still in the shop being fixed and serviced, now I just hope it doesn't cost too much, I will find out today, fingers crossed.